Parents have enormous power over a child's well-being but too many fail to appreciate and use this power. Study after study has shown: Parental involvement makes a critical difference in children's lives. Parents can influence their children if they reach them early and if they continue to reinforce strong values and a positive message throughout their teen years.

Parents Do Have Influence:
For parents who believe they have little influence over their children, teens tell us their parents do influence them in resisting drugs while friends are the main influence for those teens who decide to use drugs. More teens who don't use marijuana (42%) credit their parents over any other influence. Yet 45% of parents think it is likely their teen will use an illegal drug in the future. Parental resignation often reflects their own prior drug-using behavior: among parents who used marijuana in their youth, 58% say they expect their teen to use an illegal drug in the future; of parents who never used pot, 29% expect their teen to try an illegal drug. Simple Things Count: Too often parents feel overwhelmed by the number of events in their lives or think they will have little impact on their child's decision to smoke, drink or use drugs. But simple things can count. Parents should get involved with homework, parent-children projects, and extracurricular activities or attend religious services together. One of the best things parents can do for the well-being of their children is to regularly eat dinner together. Among teens who eat dinner with their parents six or seven times a week, 93 percent say they have not smoked a cigarette in the last month. That number drops among teens who eat with their families less. The same can be said for drinking: more than half of students who eat dinner with their parents six or seven times a week have not been to drinking parties in the last six months.

Teens who attend religious services four or more times a month are far less likely to smoke, drink or use drugs than teens who attend services less than once a month. Fifty-six percent of teens who attend four or more times say they will never use an illegal drug in the future compared to just 15% who attend services less than once a month.

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Family Relationships

Highlights from CASA's 1999 teen and parent drug survey show the importance of building a good relationship with your child. CASA's survey revealed many dads are AWOL in the battle to keep kids drug-free and this increases their teen's risk of substance abuse. Children living in two-parent families who have a fair or poor relationship with their father are at 68% higher risk of smoking, drinking and using drugs compared to all teens living in a two-parent household. The average teen living in a household headed by a single mother is at 30% higher risk compared to all teens in a two-parent household.

CASA's survey revealed that teens consistently rate moms more favorably than dads: 71% of teens report having an excellent or very good relationship with mom; only 58% have such a relationship with dad. More than twice as many teens say it's easier to talk to mom than dad about drugs (57% vs. 26%). Twice as many teens who never used marijuana credit mom as credit dad with their decision (29% vs. 13%). While 45% of teens have discussed drugs with both parents, almost four times as many teens had such discussions with mom alone (15%) than with dad alone (4%). Teens are three times more likely to rely solely on mom than solely on dad when they have important decisions to make (27% vs. 9%). 45% of teens say mom is more demanding in terms of grades, homework and personal behavior; 39% say dads are more demanding.

The safest teens, according to CASA, are those living in two-parent homes who have a positive relationship with both parents, got to both parents equally when they have important decisions to make, have discussed illegal drugs with both parents and report their mom and dad are equally demanding of the teen in terms of grades, homework and personal behavior.

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If You Think Your Child Is Using Drugs

There is no easy answer if you suspect your child is using drugs. Don't ignore the signs. Here are some things to watch for if you think your child may be drinking or using drugs: Low grades or poor school performance Withdrawal, isolation, depression or fatigue Aggressive rebellious behavior Truancy Excessive influence by peers or change in friends Hostility and lack of cooperativeness Deteriorating relationships with family Loss of interest in appearance and personal hygiene Loss of interest in hobbies and sports Changes in sleeping and eating habits Evidence of drugs and paraphernalia Physical changes such as: red eyes, runny nose, frequent sore throats, rapid weight loss, bruises from falls

What to do:
Talk to your child. If you need help with this, contact your doctor, a school social worker or clergy member, your local hospital, county medical health society or family counselor. Professional intervention can help determine an appropriate course of action.

Keep in mind that the moment of disclosure is not just a moment to punish. It should open a conversation of understanding and bond by working together to solve the problem.

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• Become active participants in your teen's life
• Regularly help with homework
• Encourage your teen to seek your help on important decisions
• Eat dinners frequently as a family
• Attend religious services regularly and make religion important to the life of your teen
• Praise and discipline your teen when merited
• Know what your teen is doing after school
• Know where your teen is on weekends

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